Stronach wants boost for defence
Conservative Party of Canada leadership candidate Belinda Stronach vowed to boost military spending over the next decade until it reaches 2 per cent of Canada's gross domestic product. Under her proposal, it is estimated that by 2012 the military will be able to afford two brand new jeeps and a flak jacket.

Opportunity Finds Water
Mars rover Opportunity has found evidence that the red planet was once wet enough for life to exist there, but the robot has not found any direct traces of living organisms. NASA went on to deny that it had accidentally landed somewhere in the UK.

U.S. to send 'small' operation to Haiti
The Pentagon will dispatch up to 2,000 Marines to Haiti to restore order in the country before an international peacekeeping force takes over. According to a government spokesperson, before leaving for the island, troops were given DVDs of The Night of the Living Dead in order to prepare them for possible organised Zombie resistance.

Ugandans to sue over colonialism
The Bunyoro-Kitara kingdom in Uganda, says it is suing the UK for alleged atrocities committed by its soldiers during the colonial period. In a related story, Canada announced that it was suing Britain for inventing cricket.

Israeli settlement building grows
According to a Israeli government survey, new building in Jewish settlements on occupied land grew substantially in 2003. At the same time no growth was reported in settlements on unoccupied land in Luxemburg and Tuvalu.

Gibson rumoured to have started production on Passion: the Prequel
Hollywood trade magazines have reported that Mel Gibson, flush from his recent success, has already started pre-production on a prequel to his current film. Temporarily titled Passion 0.5, it will deal with Prometheus , a Greek God suffering from daily re-occurring liver problems while hanging around in the Caucasus.