Professional Tai Chi League Launched

WWE chairman Vincent K. McMahon announced yesterday that his group, WWE Entertainment Inc, is about to launch a new series based around the meditative martial art Tai Chi. According to McMahon this new venture will be geared towards a baby boomer demographic who, he argues "might enjoy loosening up their Depends , opening up a can of camomile tea and see two old bags going at each other's throats very, very slowly".

Known to millions of Americans as the creator of the WWF (later WWE) and its much vaunted Wrestlemania events, McMahon has build up a multi-million dollar entertainment empire by cleverly selling homoerotic images to homophobic audiences. He plans to continue his successful streak with his new series tentatively titled Tai Me Up (TMU) during which combatants from different schools of Tai Chi will "wail on each other gently until the first one drops".

Age and gender of the combatants will not be a factor when matching up contestants. As McMahon puts it, " a 70 old Chinese chick going Chi kung on a 42 year old nurse's ass : now that's pure [expletive] entertainment" .The usual addition of sexual content and product placement should ensure profitability within the first fiscal year . Fixodent has already signed up as the main sponsor and McMahon expects that CBS will televise the events once or twice a week.