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A top Vatican cardinal said Friday that priests must deny
communion to pro-abortion Catholic politicians. The politians will
also be barred from any Bingo games and bake sales. They are, however,
still expected to help whitewash allegations of sexual abuse by
the clergy.
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Canadian health officials are better prepared to stop the
spread of the disease this time, officials say. Their main weapon
will be the new "person with SARS" tax collected from
every infected passenger at Toronto and Vancouver airports. The
money will be used to study the matter further.
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David Bowie has invited fans to bootleg his music and he's
offering prizes for the most creative theft.When interviewed, both
of his fans, however, mentioned that they has no time to participate:
one is scheduled for an hip operation while the other has "some
serious gardening to take care off".
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Hamas has refused to identify the person chosen to replace
Abdel Aziz Rantisi, the Hamas leader who was killed in an Israeli
airstrike April 17. Rumours, never the less, persists that the most
likely candidate is a Ms. Gerda Frank, a hairstylist living in Waterloo,
Ontario. According to some sources, Israel has already asked the
Canadian government to bomb Ms. Frank to pieces, "whenever
they can get their helicopter to work".
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After a decade of international failure in Haiti,
the United Nations has approved a new peacekeeping mission aimed
at stabilizing the Caribbean nation. According to spokesperson Russell
Haws, the mission will be "a short-term operation, just like
the one in Cyprus".
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