ART THEFT AT THE GLOBE AND MAIL: APOLOGIA

The Fibber would like to apologize to the GLOBE AND MAIL for swiping one of their pictures. While it is true that nobody appears to have noticed the theft up until now, a deep sense of shame has come over us and we have attempted to contact staff at our rival's head office in order to return the item in question. For now, we will just keep it in plain sight on this page so that it can be guarded by the public at large.

Naturally, we take full responsibility for our actions and are willing to resign our position of tenth largest satirical internet site in Canada. In our defence, the Fibber has been under enormous stress as of late, due to a decline in readership from high of 53 in January to last month's low of 11 (the Fibber's sister, brother ,6 confused Albanian visitors, and 3 dyslexic feminists looking for 'the Libber') . Still, this cannot excuse our actions and we acknowledge that it was wrong to take the image in question .

How exactly it wound up in our temporary IE6 Explorer folder we cannot recollect . Maybe it happened as we were perusing the Globe's new Internet Photo Store. While it is true that the Fibber has been an avid collector of memorabilia related to Tie Domi, it is purely coincidental that the picture shows the player in question honing his skills at an early age. We also deny that we had thought about buying a similar picture just last week.

The Fibber has sought counselling from CBS's Media Ethicist and promises never to engage in any similar theft. We will also throw ourselves at the mercy of the court, should the Globe and Mail deem it worthwhile to pursue charges.

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CNN Picks up Palestinian Conflict for Another Season

(Reuters) CNN has announced that it will be carrying the eternal dance of death in the Middle East for one more season. Although ratings have plummeted steadily over the last few years, the recent Israeli missile attack on Sheikh Ahmed Yassin has halted the slide for the time being.

Time Warner news president, Jim Walton, admitted that the move was risky, since the shear repetitiveness of the events in Israel and the Palestinian territories has already led to apathy in its viewers. According to Walton the conflict "jumped the shark long time ago". He continued by stating quite candidly that, "in truth, we could be running stock segments from four years ago and absolutely no one would know the difference".

Still, CNN assures its viewers that they will continue to cover the conflict with the same vigour as always, although some staff cutbacks are expected. Last month, one camera crew was transferred out of the region in anticipation of the up-coming Michael Jackson trial.

CNN also announced that live coverage will be reserved for suicide attacks with 650 or more casualties, or Israeli incursions which involve the deaths of senior Palestinian leaders. Furthermore, plans to outfit suicide bombers with 'on-board' cameras have been shelved for the time being.

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