Iraqi Smoking Ban to take Effect May 1st

(AP) Following Ireland's lead, governor Paul Bremer has declared that as of June 1st all of occupied Iraq will become a non-smoking zone. The measure is intended to safe-guard the Iraqi people from the harm of second hand smoke and allow non-smokers to enjoy a peaceful meal at their favourite local restaurant without endangering their health.

According to Bremer, "it is high time that the US administration does something to protect the average Iraqi. We thought that this would be a good and doable first step" .

The Iraqi Heart and Lung Association as well as the Iraqi Physicians for a Non-smoking Workplace (IPNW) endorse the American move enthusiastically. One surgeon was quoted as saying that "this news is better than medicine, or a few new incubators, or scalpels for that matter. Do you happen to have a scalpel? ".

Critics of the plan counter that by June 1st the plan will be hard to enforce, since in all likelihood the control will have slipped from the Americans by that date. Thus, Helen Clearbreath , from the Smoke-free Universe Movement (SUM) argues that the ban should come into effect immediately , since " it will get tougher by the day to enforce the anti-tobacco measures in places such as Najaf and Fallujah" .

Should the implementation of the smoking ban be successful, the state department is considering similar actions in Kosovo and Afghanistan.
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Faith-Based Public Washrooms to open in Miami

(CNN)Visitors to the Bicentennial Park, nestled on the shores of downtown Miami, are in for a pleasant surprise should nature call. As of last week, ten brand spanking new outhouses have been installed and are being maintained by the 'Brotherhood of Soiled Sinners ".

The project is solely funded through grants from the Bush administration's faith-based initiative, a program aimed at allowing religious organisations to access federal funds for charitable works.

Brotherhood spokesbrother John D. Battista explained that at first his organisation had little luck navigating the bureaucracy surrounding grant application. Out of desperation they finally submitted a T453-d2 to The Commerce Department's Technology Opportunities Program . Within weeks the necessary funds were secured.

"We asked for $3000.00 to help buy computers for Christian immigrants, but received $3 000,000 instead. Naturally we thought that it was a sign from God , directing us to do more. It is then that we decided to buy ten Port-a-Potties and put them in the park."

Before accessing the facilities, visitors are asked to join the brother assigned to the outhouse to join him in a quick prayer, although exceptions are made for emergencies. Furthermore, during usage, one is encouraged to join in a hymn or two by the potty keeper who is vigilantly guarding the door. According to Battista, " sometimes, when a line forms, we get a nice little choir going. Praise the Lord".

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